30 hadiths about muslim matrimonial (nikah)

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    Hadith #1

    Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah (may Allaah be pleased with him) is reported to have said:

    “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:’ When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so’”

    Jabir said: “I asked a girl in marriage, I used to look at her secretly, until I looked at what induced me to marry her. I, therefore, married her.” Ahmad 3/334, Abu Dawud 2082, al-Bayhaq’i 7/84, Al-Hakim 2/165. The hadith is good. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ al-sagheer 506, Irwaul-ghalil 1791, and as-Silsilah al-sahih 99.

    Imam as-San’ani said: “to look at what will lead him to marry her ‘ is general and refers to everything that involves looking. This is confirmed by the understanding of the companions -as stated in the message- which ‘Abdu’r-Razzaq and Sa’id ibn Mansur report that’ Umar opened the shins of Umm Kulthum, the daughter of ‘Ali.”

    Imam al-San’ani is referring to a report that was narrated from Abu Ja’far al-Baqir, who said that when ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab asked for Umm Kulthum, the daughter of’ Ali ibn Abi Talib, he lifted the hem of her robe and looked at her shin, to which she said: “Put it down! If you were not the ruler of the faithful, I would have slapped you on the neck!”‘Abdu’r-Razzaq 5/163, Sa’id ibn Mansur 521.

    The isnad of this message is authentic and all the transmitters are reliable, but Shaykh al-Albani said that Abu Ja’far al-Baqir did not find Ali alive, and especially Umar, so the isnad of this message is interrupted. See as-Sahihah 1/207. Imam Ibn al-Qattan said: “If a man who has wooed a woman knows that she will not marry him, or that her guardian will not allow her, then he is not allowed to look at her, even if he has already wooed her.” Cm. “Ahkamu-n-nazar” 391.

    Hadith #2

    It is reported that when Muhammad ibn Maslama (may Allaah be pleased with him) was spying on a woman near her palm tree, when he saw him, he was told:

    “I proposed marriage to a woman, then I hid and waited to see her until I saw her among some date palm trees that belonged to her.” It was said to him: “Do you do such a thing when you are a companion of the Messenger of Allah?” He said: “I heard the Messenger of Allah saying: ‘When Allah causes a man to propose to a woman, there is nothing wrong with him looking at her.” Ahmad 3/493, Ibn Majah 1864, al-Hakim 3/434, al-Bayhaq’i 7/85.The hadeeth is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ al-sagheer 389, al-Silsilah al-sahih 98.

    This act of the companion of Muhammad ibn Maslama (may Allaah be pleased with him), who observed a woman without her knowledge, is an argument against the view that it is permissible for someone who is going to marry to look only at the face and hands. How can you imagine that he would have observed a woman secretly, if she was in the form in which she appears on the street or even in a nikab? Then why would he be censured by those who saw him?

    Imam al-Awza’i is reported to have said: “One can look at fleshy places.” See al-Mughni 7/454, Sharh Sahih Muslim 5/132.

    Shaykh Ibn Baz was asked: “What is the rule regarding looking at the bride when she is dressed up and without the hijab on her head?” “There’s no problem with that. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to look at the one who was being wooed. It is Sunnah for the suitor to look at her face, hair, hands, and feet. There is no problem in all this. However, so that at the same time he does not retire with her! Let her watch without privacy, in the presence of her father, mother, or anyone else. “Sl.” Fatawa nurun ‘ala ad-darb”, / Fiqh al-zawaj/. It should be noted that no one has the right to force a woman to show her face and hands to the person who wooed her, if she refuses to do so. See al-Mughni 7/456.

    Hadith #3

    It was narrated from Abu Humayd al-Sa’di( may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “If any of you wish to woo a woman, it is no sin for him to look at her for the purpose of wooing her, even if she does not know it.” Ahmad 5/424, at-Tabarani 911/1/279.The hadeeth is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ al-sagheer 507, al-Silsilah al-sahih 97.

    Hadith #4

    It is reported that al-Mughira ibn Shu’ba (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:

    “I came to the Prophet and told him of a woman to whom I had to propose marriage. He said: ‘Go and look at her, for that is more likely to create love between you.’ So I went to a woman among the Ansar and proposed marriage through her parents. I told them what the Prophet had said, and it was as if they did not like that. Then I heard that woman behind her curtain, say: ‘If the Messenger of Allah has told you to do that, then do it, otherwise I adjure you by Allah (not to do so)’. And it was as if she regarded that as a serious matter.” Ahmad 4/244, 246, Ibn Majah 1866, ad-Daraq’utni 3663, al-Bayhaq’i 7/84. T he hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ al-sagheer 859, al-Silsilah al-sahih 96.

    If a man has already looked at the woman to whom he has wed and has made up his mind, then he should not look at her after that, or communicate with her unnecessarily, until he marries her, because she is still a stranger to him. They asked Shaykh Ibn ‘ uthaymeen: “Is it permissible for someone who has engaged a girl to visit her often and sit with her and her family members? Or does he visit her once and only when he sees her in front of her family?”. “Yes, the suitor should not visit her often or communicate with her. He looks at her to make it clear to him (her appearance). If it didn’t become clear to him the first time and he decided to look again, then there is no problem. He can repeat this until it becomes clear to him. However, after that, when he has already confirmed the betrothal, there is no need to visit them.” See Fatawa nurun’ ala ad-darb 10/81.

    Hadith #5

    Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) is reported to have said:

    “A man of the Ansar came to the Messenger of Allah and said: ‘I have married a woman.’ He said: ‘Did you look at her? For there is something in the eyes of the Ansar.”’ Ahmad 2/286, 299, Muslim 1424, an-Nasai 6/77, ad-Daraqutni 3666. The hadith is authentic. See Qayat al-maram 211, Sahih an-Nasai 3246.

    The words: “he married an Ansar woman” meaning that he wanted to marry her by wooing her. “There is something in the eyes of the Ansar” – it is said to have meant the small size of the eyes. They also say that the color blue is implied too. This is an indication that such advice can be given, and it is also an indication of the desirability of looking at the face of someone who wants to marry her. This is the madhhab of al-Shafi’i, Malik, Abu Hanifa and the rest of the Kufis, Ahmad and most of the scholars. See Sharh Sahih Muslim 9/209.

    Hadith #6

    It was narrated from Ibn ‘ Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “A person should not enter into a transaction when his brother (had already entered into but not finalized), and he should not make proposal of marriage upon the proposal already made by his brother, until he permits it.” al-Bukhari 2139, Muslim 1412.

    Hadith #7

    It is reported from ‘Uqba ibn ‘ Amir (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “A believer is the brother of a believer, so it is not lawful for a believer to outbid his brother, and he should not propose an engagement when his brother has thus proposed until he gives it up.” [1] – Muslim 1414.

    [1] That is: until he gives up the idea of marrying this woman or allows him to woo her.

    Hadith #8

    Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) is reported to have said:

    “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another (nikah).”’ Ibn Majah 1847, al-Hakim 2/160. The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ as-sagheer 5200, Tahrij Mishkatul-masabih 3029, and Sahih Ibn Majah 1509.

    Hadith #9

    It is reported that ‘Aisha (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:

    “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Choose the best for your offspring, and marry compatible women and propose marriage to them.’” Ibn Majah 1968, Ibn ‘ Adi 1/64, al-Hakim 2687. The hadith is authentic. See al-Silsilah al-sahih 1067.

    It is understood from this hadeeth that righteous parents are more likely to have healthy and happy children. In Islam, there is no concept of a generic curse. However, it is known that Allah accepts the supplication of people for their descendants, just as He accepted the supplication of Ibrahim for his descendants: “My Lord! Make me and those ˹believers˺ of my descendants keep up prayer. Our Lord! Accept my prayers.”(Surah 14″ Ibrahim”, verse 40). God’s response was: “My covenant will not touch the unjust” (Surah 2 “The Cow”, verse 124). If the prayer of the Imam of the Hanifs did not benefit the sinners among his descendants, then it is quite clear that no kind of prayer will benefit those who did not succeed due to their own mistakes and any curse will not affect those who saved themselves due to their good deeds.

    Burayda narrated: “Abu Bakr and ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with them, proposed marriage to Fatimah but the Messenger of Allah said: ‘She is young.’ Then ‘Ali proposed marriage to her and he married her to him.” an-Nasai 3221. The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Nasa’i 3221, Zahira al – ‘ uqba 27/58.

    Imam al-Nasai’ named the chapter in which he narrated this hadeeth as follows: “Marriage of a woman to an equal in age.”
    Imam al-Sindi said in reference to this hadeeth: “It indicates that the same age or a close age should be taken into account, as it is preferred when it comes to love and mutual understanding. Yes, however, being close in age can be ignored if it is for something better, such as Aisha marrying the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” See Hashiyah ‘ala an-Nasa’i 3/370.

    Abu Mujashi ‘al-Azdi reported: “A young girl was brought to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allaah be pleased with him) who was married to an old man, whom she then killed, and ‘Umar said: ‘O people! Let women marry their equals in age, just as men marry their equals in age!”’ Sa’id ibn al-Mansur in as-Sunan 1/210.

    Sheikh al-Albani said: “One should not marry a young woman, even if she has matured, to someone who is much older than her. On the contrary, age should be taken into account.” After that, the Shaykh gave an argument to the mentioned hadith from Burayda. See at-Ta’liqat ar-radiyya ‘ ala ar-Rauda an-nadiya 2/151.

    Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Ali ibn Adam al-Atiubi said: “The same age or a close one should be taken into account if the suitor does not have a clear advantage, and if he has an advantage, then there is nothing wrong with the age difference, so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married ‘Aisha. If someone says that Abu Bakr and ‘Umar also had a clear advantage, then why wasn’t that taken into account? The answer is: no one can deny the dignity and honor of these two companions, may Allah be pleased with them. However, ‘Ali also had a virtue that surpassed them in relation to Fatima, and this is the same age, which is the reason for mutual understanding and love in marriage. For this reason, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) chose Ali over them.” Cm. “Sharh Sunan an-Nasai” 27/58.

    Hadith #10

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said::

    “If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be Fitnah in the land and widespread corruption.” at-Tirmidhi 1084, Ibn Majah 1967, al-Hakim 2/179. The hadith is good. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ as-sagheer 270.

    Hadith #11

    It is reported from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “In this world, I instilled a love for women and incense, and the sweetness of my eyes was made in prayer.” Ahmad 3/128, 199, 285, an-Nasai 7/61, Al-Hakim 2/160. The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ as-sagheer 3124, an-Nasiha 255.

    In the commentary on this hadith, as-Sindi said:

    — As for the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “In this world, I was instilled with a love of women and perfumes…”, some said that the love of women was instilled in him only so that they would convey about him what was unknown to men and what he himself was talking about. Others believed that the love of women was instilled in him in order to put him to an even greater test, and that those women whose love was instilled in him would not distract him from the mission entrusted to him, which increased the difficulty of his task, but deserved an even greater reward. Other opinions were expressed in this regard. As for the incense, it seems that he loved it, as he had to have secret conversations with angels who love the smell of incense. In addition, the reason for the love of incense is a balanced disposition and the perfection of natural qualities, and in this respect, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was superior to all others.

    As for his words: “… and the delight of my eyes was made in prayer” – they indicate that the love for this was explained not only by the perfection of his conversations with the Most High and All-good Lord, but also by the fact that he completely devoted himself to the Most High, and therefore secret conversations with Him brought benefits. He had joy, and he had no other joy than that. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) loved only his Creator with true love, as he himself said: “If I had to choose a friend, I would choose Abu Bakr again, but your companion [1] is a friend of the Most Merciful” [2] These words indicate that if I had to choose a friend, I would choose Abu Bakr again. The love of women and perfumes does not prevent the servant of Allah from fulfilling his duties, but rather contributes to the full dedication of himself to the Almighty, then it is a sign of perfection, otherwise it becomes a disadvantage, so let people reflect on this. See the commentary on Kitab al-C’unan by an-Nasa’i, 7/61, 62.

    As-Suyuti said:

    — Al-Muwaffaq ‘Abdul-Latif al-Baghdadi said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) added another quality to the prayer that unites all who are worthy in this world and in the eternal world. First, he mentioned incense that improves the state of the soul, then he mentioned women who help remove the anxiety caused to the soul, and finally, he mentioned prayer, which, thanks to both, is cleansed of all impurities and freed from the influence of all extraneous things.” See al-Suyuti’s commentary on Kitab as- Sunan an-Nasai, 7/64, 65.

    [1] “Sahibu-qom” is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called himself.

    [2] This hadeeth is narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

    Hadith #12

    It is reported from ‘Aisha (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “Ask women to agree to marry [1].” Ahmad 6/45, an-Nasai 6/85 and Ibn Hibban 4080. Cm. The hadith is authentic. “Sahih al-Jami’ al-sagheer “930,” al-Silsilah al-sahih ” 398.

    [1] Letters. “Ask women for permission when it comes to their wombs.” Editor’s note.

    Hadith #13

    It was narrated from Abu Musa al-Ash’ari (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “If any of you want to marry off your daughter, ask for her consent.” at-Tabarani.The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ al-sagheer 300, al-Silsilah al-sahih 1206.

    Hadith #14

    It is reported from al – ‘Ursa ibn’ Amira (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “Consult with women (regarding their marriage), for the divorced woman must express her opinion, and the consent of the virgin is her silence.” al-Tabarani in al-Mu’jam al-Kabir 17/138 and al-Bayhaq’i 7/123.

    The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ as-saghir 13, Irwaul-ghalil 1836.

    Hadith #15

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) once said:

    “A woman who has been previously married should not be married until her permission is asked nor should a virgin be married without her permission. “They (the people) asked “What is her permission, Apostle of Allaah()? He replied “it is by her keeping silence” Ahmad 2/250, 279, 425, 434, 475, Al-Bukhari 6968, Muslim 1419, Abu Dawud 2092.

    It was narrated that Ibn ‘ Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “A woman without a husband has more right to her person than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be asked from her, and her silence implies her consent.” This hadith was narrated by Muslim 1421.

    One version of the hadith says:

    “A guardian has no concern with a woman previously married and has no husband, and an orphan girl (i.e. virgin) must be consulted, her silence being her acceptance.” This hadeeth was narrated by Abu Dawud 2100, an-Nasa’i 6/85 and Ibn Hibban 4089.

    Hadith #16

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) once said:

    “A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission.” The people asked, “O Allah’s Messenger ()! How can we know her [1] permission?” He said, “Her silence (indicates her permission).” al-Bukhari 5136.

    [1] This refers to widows and divorced women.

    Hadith #17

    It is reported that ‘Aisha (may Allaah be pleased with her) once said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):

    “I said, “O Allah’s Messenger ()! A virgin feels shy [1].” He said, “Her consent is (expressed by) her silence.” al-Bukhari 5137.

    [1] That is, she is ashamed to give her consent to the marriage.

    Hadith #18

    Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) is reported to have said: 

    “A virgin came to the Prophet () and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet () allowed her to exercise her choice.” Abu Dawud 2096, Ibn Majah 1875. The hadith is authentic. See Sahih Abi Dawud (1827), Sahih Ibn Majah (1532), and Tahrij Mishkatul-masabih (3071).

    Hadith #19

    Hansa bint Hizam al-Ansariyah (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported that,

    “When her father remarried her against her will, she went to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he dissolved the marriage.” al-Bukhari 5138.

    Hadith #20

    It is reported that ‘Aisha (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:

    “The Messenger of Allah () said: The marriage of a woman who marries without the consent of her guardians is void. (He said these words) three times. If there is cohabitation, she gets her dower for the intercourse her husband has had. If there is a dispute, the sultan (man in authority) is the guardian of one who has none.” Ahmad 6/66, Abu Dawud 2083, at-Tirmidhi 1102, Ibn Majah 1879, al-Bayhaq’i 7/105. The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ as-saghir 2709, Tahrij Mishkatul-masabih 3067, Irwaul-ghalil 1840.

    Hadith #21

    Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) is reported to have said:

    “The Messenger of Allah said: ‘No woman should arrange the marriage of another woman, and no woman should arrange her own marriage. The adulteress is the one who arranges her own marriage.’” This hadith was narrated by Ibn Majah (1882), ad-Daraqutni (3/227), and al-Bayhaq’i (7/110). The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ al-saghir 7298, Irwaul-ghalil 1841.

    Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “Any woman who marries herself off is an adulteress.”

    The Qur’an, the Sunnah, and the opinion of most scholars indicate that nikah without a guardian (waliyah) is invalid. As for the opinion that having a guardian for a woman is not a condition for the validity of marriage (nikah), this is a common opinion in the Hanafi madhhab. However, this is an erroneous opinion, and it contradicts verses of the Qur’an, many authentic hadiths, and the opinion of the companions. Moreover, Imam al-Tahawi in Sharh ma’ani al-Asar 2/4 reported that such great imams of the Hanafi madhhab as Abu Yusuf and Muhammad ibn al-Hasan believed that nikah without a guardian is invalid.

    Proof that guardian is a condition of nikah:
    Allah Almighty said:

    “Do not marry polytheistic women until they believe.” (Al-Baqarah 2: 221).

    This verse is a proof that women are given in marriage by men, because Allaah addressed men not women when he said: “Do not marry disbelievers.”

    Hafiz Ibn Kathir, explaining this verse, said: “Do not marry believing women to polytheists!” see Tafsir Ibn Kathir 1/377.

    Imam al-Qurtubi said: “This verse is a direct proof that there is no nikah without a guardian!” Tafsir al-Qurtubi 4/49.

    Allah Almighty also said:

    “Marry them with the permission of their families” (an-Nisa’ah, 4: 25).

    Imam al-Baghawi said: “Marry them”, i.e. female slaves, “with the permission of their families”, i.e. with the permission of their guardians”. See Tafsir al-Baghawi 1/416.

    The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke without making any exceptions:

    “There is no marriage without the permission of a guardian.” Ahmad 4/394, Abu Dawud 2085, at-Tirmidhi 1101, Ibn Majah 1881. The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ al-sagheer 7555.

    The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said:

    “The marriage of a woman who marries without the consent of her guardians is void. He said these words three times. If there is cohabitation, she gets her dower for the intercourse her husband has had. If there is a dispute, the sultan (man in authority) is the guardian of one who has none” Abu Dawud 2083, at-Tirmidhi 1/209.

    Imam Ibn Ma’in, Imam Abu ‘Awana, Imam Ibn al-Jawzi and Shaykh al-Albani confirmed the authenticity of the hadith. See Al-Irwaul-ghalil (1840).

    Ma’kal ibn Yasar narrated: “I once married my sister to a certain man, and after a while he divorced her, then after her due date (‘idda) had passed, he came again to ask for her hand in marriage, but I told him: “I married her off to you, made her your wife, and honored you, but you divorced her, and then you came to ask for her hand in marriage! No, by Allah, she will never be back with you!” However, he was not a bad man, and the woman wanted to return to him, and then Allah revealed a verse that says: “Do not prevent them” and then I said,” I will do it now, O Messenger of Allah! “The narrator of this hadeeth said: ‘And he married his sister to him again.’ al-Bukhari 5130.

    Imam al-Baghawi said: “In this hadith, it is indicated that nikah is invalid except with the consent of the guardian. If this woman could have married him herself, she would not have waited for her brother’s consent.” See Sharhoo-s-Sunnah 9/45.

    Imam al-Baghawi also said: “The texts of the hadiths on the need for a guardian (under the nikah) are generalized, which do not make any distinctions and concreteness.” See Sharhu-s-Sunnah 9/42.

    Hafiz Ibn Hajar wrote: “Ibn al-Munzir said that he was not aware of any differences among the companions in this matter (the need for a guardian).” See Fathul-Bari 9/187.

    Hafiz Ibn ‘ Abdul-Barr said: “The Qur’an and Sunnah indicate that there is no nikah without waliyah, so there is no meaning in anything that contradicts it.” See at-Tamhid 19/90.

    Opening the door to this misconception that it is permissible to marry without a guardian has created a lot of harm and depravity, apart from the fact that marriage without a guardian is invalid and it is adultery.
    As for the vali who gives a girl in marriage, it is her father, her paternal grandfather, her father’s brothers, her brothers, the sons of uncles, etc.

    Imam Ibn Hazm said: “It is not permissible for a woman to marry without the consent of her guardian, whether she is a virgin or not! And Vali is her father, brothers, grandfather, paternal uncles, or uncle’s sons. But it is the one who is closest to her (i.e. the father first, if not, then the grandfather, if not, then the brother, etc.) and the son is not Wali for a woman,”  See al-Muhallah 9/451.

    As for the son, whether he can marry off his mother or not, there is a disagreement among scholars on this issue.
    Imam al-Mawardi said: “A woman’s Wali under nikah is her father, then her paternal father (grandfather), then her brother, then her son.”

    Imam al-Bayhaq’i wrote in his collection of hadiths: “The chapter that an infidel cannot be Wali for a Muslim woman!” See Sunan al-Kubra 7/139.

    What should a woman do if she doesn’t have Wali?!

    It is reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The ruler of the Muslims is Wali for the one who has no Wali!” Ibn Majah 1880, Ibn Abu Shaybah 2/372. The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ as-sagheer 7556, Sahih Ibn Majah 1537.

    Hadith #22

    It is reported that ‘Aisha (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:

    “The Messenger of Allah () said: The marriage of a woman who marries without the consent of her guardians is void. (He said these words) three times. If there is cohabitation, she gets her dower for the intercourse her husband has had. If there is a dispute, the sultan (man in authority) is the guardian of one who has none.” Abu Dawud 2083, at-Tirmidhi 1/209. The hadith is authentic. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ as-saghir 2709, Tahrij Mishkatul-masabih 3067, Irwaul-ghalil 1840.

    Hadith #23

    It is narrated from Sahl ibn Sa’d that a woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said::

    “A lady came to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and said, “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! I have come to you to offer myself to you.” He raised his eyes and looked at her and then lowered his head. When the lady saw that he did not make any decision, she sat down. On that, a man from his companions got up and said. “O Allah’s Apostle! If you are not in need of this woman, then marry her to me.” Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Do you have anything to offer her?” He replied. “No, by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)!” The Prophet (ﷺ) said to him, “Go to your family and see if you can find something.’ The man went and returned, saying, “No, by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! I have not found anything.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Try to find something, even if it is an iron ring.” He went again and returned, saying, “No, by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), not even an iron ring, but I have this waist sheet of mine.” The man had no upper garment, so he intended to give her, half his waist sheet. So Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, ”What would she do with your waist sheet? If you wear it, she will have nothing of it over her body, and if she wears it, you will have nothing over your body.” So that man sat for a long period and then got up, and Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) saw him going away, so he ordered somebody to call him. When he came, the Prophet (ﷺ) asked him, ” How much of the Qur’an do you know?” He replied, “I know such Surat and such Surat and such Surat,” and went on counting it, The Prophet (ﷺ) asked him, “Can you recite it by heart?” he replied, “Yes.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Go, I have married this lady to you for the amount of the Qur’an you know by heart.” al-Bukhari 5030, Muslim 1425, an-Nasai 6/113.

    In other words, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave her in marriage to this man on the condition that he would teach her what he knew, which is explicitly stated in one version of this hadith.

    Hadith #24

    Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah (may Allaah be pleased with them both) is reported to have said:

    “Allah’s Messenger () forbade that a woman should be married to man along with her paternal or maternal aunt.” al-Bukhari 5108.

    Hadith #25

    It is reported from Ibn ‘ Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) forbade Ash-Shighar, which means that somebody marries his daughter to somebody else, and the latter marries his daughter to the former without paying Mahr.

    “Shigar” is a form of marriage where two people give their daughters in marriage to each other without giving them any marriage gift. al-Bukhari 5112.

    It was narrated from Ibn ‘ Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no Shighar in islam.” This hadith was narrated by Ahmad 2/35, Muslim 1415, and at-Tabarani in al-Mu’jam al-Awsat 2998.

    Hadith #26

    It is reported that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:

    “I was with Anas while his daughter was present with him. Anas said, “A woman came to Allah’s Apostle and presented herself to him, saying, ‘O Allah’s Messenger (), have you any need for me (i.e. would you like to marry me)?’ “Thereupon Anas’s daughter said, “What a shameless lady she was! Shame! Shame!” Anas said, “She was better than you; she had a liking for the Prophet () so she presented herself for marriage to him.” [1] Al-Bukhari 5120.

    [1] Imam al-Bukhari called the chapter in which he cited such hadiths: “The chapter that a woman can offer herself (as a wife) to the righteous man.”

    Hafiz Ibn al-Mulaqqin said: “And this is what he called the chapter (of al-Bukhaari) that it is permissible for a woman to offer herself as a wife to a righteous man, thereby showing her desire for him because of his righteousness and dignity, or because of his knowledge and honor, or because of any religious obligation.” qualities. There is no blame or reproach on her for this.” See at-Tawdih li-sharh al-Jami’ as-sahih 24/370.

    Imam Badruddin al – ‘Aini said: “The daughter of Anas paid attention to the outside and did not understand the essence of the picture until Anas said: “She is better than you.” As for the one who offers herself as a wife to a man for a worldly reason that is the worst thing that can happen and is shameful.” Cm. “‘Umdatul-qari” 20/113.

    However, all this does not indicate that a woman has the right to marry a man she likes without the permission of her guardian (Wali). Yes, she can offer herself as a wife to a righteous Muslim, but all the conditions of nikyah must be met.

    Sahl ibn Sa’d said: “A woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: ‘ O Messenger of Allaah, I have come to offer myself to you as a gift.'” Al-Bukhari 5126.

    This was permissible only for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), because it meant that a woman married the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) without (mahr) or the permission of her guardian, which was an exception only for him, as Allaah said:

    “A believing woman who offers herself to the Prophet ˹without dowry˺ if he is interested in marrying her˹this is˺ exclusively for you, not for the rest of the believers.” (al-Ahzab, 33: 50).

    Therefore, Imam al-Bukhari renamed this exception, saying in the chapter instead of the word “give” – “offer”, which is not the same thing, and that does not exclude the need for all the conditions of nikyah, such as the presence of a guardian, two righteous witnesses, mahr, etc.

    Hadith #27

    It is reported that ‘Aisha (may Allaah be pleased with her) said::

    “I used to look down upon those ladies who had given themselves to Allah’s Messenger () and I used to say, “Can a lady give herself (to a man)?” But when Allah revealed: “You (O Muhammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives), and you may receive any of them whom you will; and there is no blame on you if you invite one whose turn you have set aside (temporarily).’ (33.51) I said (to the Prophet), “I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires.” Al-Bukhari 4788, Ibn Abu Shaybah 3/562.

    • That is, they offered themselves to him as wives, without demanding an inalienable marriage gift (mahr).
    • This refers to those wives whose turn was postponed. This permission only applies to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

    Hadith #28

    Abul-‘Ajfa ‘ al-Sulami is reported to have said:

    “Umar (Allah be pleased with him) delivered a speech to us and said: Do not go to extremes in giving women their dower, for if it represented honor in this world and piety in Allah’s sight, the one of you most entitled to do so would have been the Prophet (). The Messenger of Allah () did not marry any of his wives or gave any of his daughters in marriage for more than twelve uqiyahs.” Ahmad 1/40, 41, 48, Abu Dawud 2106, at-Tirmidhi 1114, an-Nasai 6/117, Ibn Majah 1887. The hadith is authentic. Cm. “Tahrij Mishkatul-masabih” 3140, “Ta’liqat ar-radiyyah” 2/212, “Irwaul-ghalil” 1927.

    Imam Abu ‘Isa al-Tirmidhi, after reciting this hadeeth in his Sunan, said: “ For those who have knowledge, an okiyah is equal to forty dirhams, and twelve okiyahs is four hundred and eighty dirhams.”

    Hadith #29

    It was narrated from Ibn ‘ Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “Indeed, the greatest sin in the sight of Allaah is committed by a man who marries a woman, and when he satisfies his passion with her, he divorces her and does not pay her wedding gift (mahr); and by a man who hires a worker and then does not pay him; and by one who is vain kills an animal.” al-Hakim 2/182, al-Bayhaq’i 7/241.  Hadith is good. See Sahih al-Jami ‘ al-sagheer 1567, al-Silsilah al-sahih 999.

    Hadith #30

    It was narrated from Suhaib ibn Sinan (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

    “Any man who marries a­woman with the promise of a modest or rich wedding gift, but does not intend to give her this gift, and deceives her, and dies without giving her what is due, will meet Allah on the Day of Resurrection as an adulterer. Any person who borrowsmoney from another without paying back what is due to his companion, deceives him, takes his money, and dies without paying back the debt, will meet Allah as a thief.” Ahmad 4/332, at-Tabarani in al-Mu’jam al-Awsat 1851. The hadith is authentic. Cm. Sahih at-Targeeb wa-t-tarhib 1807.

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